The Secret of Real Happiness

In Partnership with

• 7 Pillars of Happiness

• Recipe of the week: Colorful Buddha Bowl

• Resources to help you

• Try This

Ever wondered why some people seem genuinely happy while others chase fleeting moments of joy? In my 20s, I believed lasting happiness came from building a strong foundation in key areas: a thriving career, the perfect romantic partner, and enough money to afford a beautiful life. I poured my time and energy into chasing these ideals—education, success, love, and wealth—convinced they were the ingredients to true fulfillment.

But even after reaching career milestones, gaining recognition, and living the life I had once only dreamed of, I was left with an inner emptiness that success couldn’t touch. It forced me to question why external achievements don’t always bring internal peace, and why some people seem genuinely happy without having it all. Today we're diving into what science actually tells us about happiness – and spoiler alert: it's probably not what you think.

The Hard Facts About Happiness

Let's start with some eye-opening research that might surprise you:

Money really doesn't buy happiness – at least not how you'd expect. Studies show that once your basic needs are met (around $75,000-$100,000 annually in most places), additional income has virtually no impact on your day-to-day happiness levels. The billionaire isn't necessarily happier than the teacher.

Genetics only account for about 50% of your happiness. That means half of your happiness potential is entirely within your control. Pretty empowering, right?

Happy people live longer – we're talking 7-10 years longer on average. Researchers at Harvard found that the most optimistic individuals had a 50% lower risk of heart disease compared to their pessimistic counterparts.

Social connections are more important than achievements. The Harvard Study of Adult Development, which followed people for over 80 years, concluded that good relationships keep us happier and healthier. Period.

Busting the Happiness Myths

Before we get to the good stuff, let's clear up some major misconceptions:

Myth #1: Happiness means being positive all the time - Real talk – constantly forcing positivity is exhausting and fake. Authentic happiness includes experiencing the full range of human emotions, including sadness, anger, and frustration. It's about resilience, not relentless cheerfulness.

Myth #2: Happiness is a destination - "I'll be happy when I get that promotion, lose weight, find love..." Sound familiar? Happiness isn't a finish line you cross. It's more like a muscle you develop through daily practice.

Myth #3: Happiness is selfish - Actually, happy people are more generous, more helpful, and better at maintaining relationships. When you're genuinely content, you have more emotional bandwidth to care for others.

Myth #4: Happiness just happens to lucky people - While some folks might have a slight genetic advantage, happiness is largely a set of learnable skills and habits. Yes, skills – like learning to play piano or speak a language.

The Real Pillars of Happiness

After decades of research, psychologists have identified several core elements that consistently contribute to genuine, lasting happiness:

1. Meaningful Relationships

Research continues to show that positive relationships are fundamental to happiness. This isn't about having hundreds of friends on social media. It's about having a few people who really know you – your messy, imperfect, authentic self – and love you anyway. Invest in these relationships like your happiness depends on it, because it literally does.

2. Purpose and Meaning

Having a clear understanding of what you want to achieve in your life and WHY is the second pillar of happiness. Happy people have a sense of "why" that extends beyond themselves.

This doesn't mean you need to cure cancer or save the world. It could be raising kids, creating art, helping neighbors, or mastering a craft. What matters is that your daily actions feel connected to something larger.

3. Personal Growth

Humans are wired to grow and improve. When we're learning, challenging ourselves, and becoming better versions of who we were yesterday, we feel more alive and satisfied. This could be learning a new skill, breaking a bad habit, or working on emotional intelligence.

4. Gratitude and Mindfulness

This isn't just "think positive thoughts." It's about training your brain to notice good things that are already happening. Considering that you can read this right now is pretty amazing.

There are billions of individuals on the earth who do not have regular access to computers, or a mobile phone. What about access to water? A roof over your head? Your family? What about appreciating a refreshing cold brew while lounging in the summer shade? 

Research shows that people who regularly practice gratitude report being 25% happier and more optimistic about the future.

5. Health and Wellbeing

Health and wellbeing encompasses both your physical health and your mental wellbeing. Your brain and body are intimately connected. Regular exercise, decent sleep, and good nutrition aren't just good for your health – they're fundamental to your emotional wellbeing. You don't need to become a fitness influencer, but moving your body regularly is non-negotiable for happiness.

The rule is simple… eat healthy, think healthy, be healthy, be happy!

6. Contribution and Service

There's something magical that happens when we help others. Volunteering, mentoring, or simply being kind to strangers activates the same reward centers in our brain as eating chocolate or receiving money. Plus, it gets us out of our own heads and problems.

7. Acceptance and Resilience

Happy people aren't immune to life's curveballs – they're just better at bouncing back. They've learned to accept what they can't control and focus their energy on what they can influence. This isn't about being passive; it's about being strategic with your emotional energy.

Recipe of The Week: Colorful Buddha Bowl

A colorful Buddha bowl is a nutrient-rich, balanced meal typically made with whole grains, vegetables, plant-based proteins, and healthy fats. Packed with fiber, vitamins, and antioxidants, it supports digestion, boosts immunity, and provides sustained energy, making it a wholesome and versatile option for healthy eating.

Product Recs

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And finally…

Your Happiness Homework

Here's the thing – you can read about happiness all day, but it won't change anything unless you practice it. Pick one pillar that resonates with you and commit to one small action today . Maybe it's texting an old friend, taking a 10-minute walk, or writing down three things you're grateful for.

Remember, happiness isn't about perfection. It's about progress, connection, and showing up as your authentic self – messy parts and all.

What's one small step you'll take toward genuine happiness this week?

Thank you… See you soon.

Bolaji

The OxyMind

P.S. - If this resonated with you, share it with someone who might need to hear it. Sometimes the best gift we can give is a reminder that happiness is possible – and it's a choice we make every single day.