Unpack Your Mind...Today

In today’s email…

• Unpack your mind

• Recipe of the week: Mediterranean Bowl Recipe

• Trending mental health news this week

• Resources to help you

• Productivity Hack

Picture this: You wake up energized, crushing your morning routine, feeling unstoppable. Then one unexpected challenge hits—and suddenly your entire day feels derailed. Sound familiar?

Let me share a story that changed how I think about resilience and mental control.

The Tale of Two Mornings

Last Tuesday started like a dream. Best sleep in weeks, 25 push-ups by the bed, breathwork, and an incredible sunrise run by the waterfront. The orange arch rising over the horizon was so deep and beautiful you could look directly at the sun. Pool plunge afterward—I felt invincible.

But then reality struck. My four-year-old had a complete meltdown about preschool. Total tears, wanting only mom, zero rational conversation possible. I watched the minutes tick by, knowing I'd be late for my first call, feeling my "perfect day" crumble.

Two experiences. Same morning. Completely different energy.

So here's the million-dollar question: What was I going to carry with me—the positivity from that incredible sunrise run, or the stress from the tantrum?

Because what we carry in our minds literally defines our success.

The Disappointment Trap That's Costing You

Here's what I realized: I wasn't just frustrated about being late. I was disappointed because my expectations were sky-high after such a great start.

Disappointment is the "unsatisfying gap between lived experiences and expectations that haven't come to pass." The higher your expectations, the bigger the potential gap, the harder the emotional hit.

For entrepreneurs, this is particularly brutal. We're optimizers by nature. We expect our plans to work, our teams to perform, our strategies to pay off. When they don't, the disappointment doesn't just affect that moment—it shapes how we approach the next challenge, and the next, and the next.

Here's the key insight: Regret happens when we make poor decisions. But disappointment happens when we don't have control over the situation.

Most of entrepreneurial life is actually beyond our immediate control. We can work brilliantly, but we don't control market timing. We can hire carefully, but we don't control every team member's personal challenges. We can create amazing products, but we don't control customer adoption rates.

Disappointment is inevitable. Carrying it around? That's optional.

The Science of What You Carry

According to behavioral economist Arthur Brooks, we get dopamine hits from both our highs and our expectations of future highs. When the future doesn't materialize as expected, dopamine crashes—and we feel that disappointment viscerally.

But here's where it gets interesting for high-performers: Our brains are wired for negative thinking. That cortisol response kept our ancestors alive when facing actual threats. The problem? Your brain can't tell the difference between a saber-tooth tiger and a frustrated four-year-old.

The default setting is to carry the negative. It takes intentional effort to carry the positive.

The Reframe Strategy

That morning, I had a choice. Carry the weight of a chaotic start, or carry the energy of an incredible sunrise and the gratitude for another beautiful day.

I chose the sunrise.

Not because I'm naturally positive (I'm not), but because I've learned that disappointment can lead to either bitterness or wisdom—and that choice is entirely ours.

A couple of years ago, I would have carried that frustration all day. It would have colored every interaction, every decision, every opportunity. Now I recognize that my son wasn't being challenging—he was experiencing his own challenges and needed help, not my additional stress.

Your Mental Inventory Check

So let me ask you the questions that changed everything for me:

What are you carrying right now that's not serving you?

That client who didn't sign? The team member who underperformed? The product launch that didn't hit targets? The investor who said no?

What extra weight are you hauling around that's actually preventing you from seeing new opportunities, making clear decisions, or showing up as the leader your team needs?

How can you release that weight and reframe your thoughts around what you can actually control?

Recipe of the week: Mediterranean Bowl Recipe

Trending mental health news this week

• Global Running Day 2025 Highlights Mental Health Benefits: Celebrated on June 4, Global Running Day emphasizes running’s mental health benefits, including reduced stress, improved mood, and enhanced cognitive function through increased neuroplasticity and BDNF levels. Regular running is noted for combating depression and promoting overall well-being.

• Men’s Mental Health Month Awareness: June marks Men’s Mental Health Month, with efforts to reduce stigma around men’s mental health challenges. Initiatives focus on encouraging open dialogue and regular health screenings to address issues often faced in silence.

• Women-Only Mental Health Service for Military Veterans: An online support service for female military veterans in East England, organized by the Norfolk and Suffolk NHS Foundation Trust, targets those struggling to seek help, addressing a care gap for women in the military.

Resources to help you

Genius Wave: A neuroscience-based device that uses sound waves to promote relaxation and mental clarity, aiding healing.

Mindfulness: Everyday guided practice and meditation to help you deal with anxiety and overwhelming stress.

online-therapy.com: Life-changing therapy & tools for a new you.

Everyday Yoga: Whether you're just starting out or you're a seasoned yogi, you're covered. They pride in being the go-to destination for yogis, and offer a diverse range of top-of-the-line products from your most beloved brands.

Binaural Beats Meditation: Ennora Binaural Beats are special meditation music recordings that entrain your brain for better health and wellbeing, helping to reduce stress and anxiety, increase focus and productivity, improve sleep, heighten spiritual consciousness and more. Simply listen through headphones and relax. It's that easy.

Productivity Hack: The Daily Practice

Here's what I do now when disappointment hits:

1. Acknowledge it: "This didn't go as planned, and I'm disappointed."

2. Separate control from outcome: "What parts of this were in my control vs. outside factors?"

3. Choose what to carry: "What serves me better—carrying this frustration or carrying the lesson?"

4. Reframe forward: "How does this disappointment actually prepare me for the next challenge?"

This isn't toxic positivity. It's strategic mindset management. Because in entrepreneurship, your mental state is your competitive advantage.

Your Challenge This Week: At the end of each day, ask yourself: "What am I carrying that I need to put down?" Then consciously choose what thoughts and energy you want to take into tomorrow.

Your future success might depend more on what you choose to carry than what you choose to do.

Talk soon,

Bolaji

The OxyMind

P.S. What's the heaviest thing you're carrying right now that you need to put down? Hit reply and tell me. I read every response, and sometimes sharing the weight makes it easier to release.

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P.P.S. Next week, I'm sharing the "Mental Load Audit" technique I use with my highest-performing clients to identify and release the invisible stress that's sabotaging their decision-making. Don't miss it.